Eph 5:1 and 2 tells us, Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.
Walking in love as a parent really is a full time job. One of the things that helped me become a better mom was having a greater understanding of each of my children. You hear it said all the time, that each child can be so different than the others, and how true that is. Gary Chapman who wrote Love as a Way of Life, has also written about the Five Love Languages. After reading that book, and pinpointed each of the love languages of my kids, I have learned the different ways to express my authentic love to them. If you have read any of Gary Chapman’s books on Love Languages (I think there are 4 or 5) you probably recognized that most of us demonstrate love from our own love language. Those 5 languages are quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving of gifts, and physical touch. My main love language is acts of service, so my natural inclination would be to love others that way. Only one of my children has the same love language as I have, so all 4 others have to be loved in another way. It may sound complicated, but really it brings freedom. It even makes chore time easier, and rewards are different for the different love languages. So where do your kids fit in the love languages. Can you pinpoint if they are most into quality time, speaking encouraging words over them, doing something together, receiving rewards, or your loving touch? Knowing what their love language is really does help when it comes to parenting. My kids who aren’t my same love language (acts of service) try to tell me that they don’t have to serve like the one child who has my natural bent, but they quickly find that we can all develop each of those love languages into our life. The child who cares little about being hugged, still needs to be hugged and touched. The one who really likes encouraging words, needs to learn to say them to others too. The one who just likes hanging around with you, needs to realize that actions do speak loudly! I know parenting is challenging, but finding tools like these really can make you the most authentic, loving parent you can be.
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