Would you say that you are a forgiving person? As we look at forgiveness as one of the seven characteristics of a loving person again today, I’ll ask the question again. Would you say that you are a forgiving person? According to Gary Chapman’s book called Love as a way of life, there are three things that will help you become more of a forgiving person. Here they are:
Forgive yourself – Self condemning words and actions are self destructive
Apologize for your own failures in relationships – get real, you contributed in some way
Have an authentic attitude of love toward others – be open to forgive, no matter how long it takes.
I have observed, in general, that women often can be the hardest on themselves when it comes to forgiveness. They can be lavish in their love and forgiveness of others, but they will keep on kicking themselves for years over past mistakes. Women and men, need to say, it’s in the past, I’ve admitted my part in the situation, I’ve asked for forgiveness, so leave it there. It is under the blood. Jesus died so we can be forgiven, so I can forgive me. Once we get past that hurdle, being truthful and not coloring or sugar coating our own contribution to the problem can be the next issue. Of all the counseling I have done, it is becoming increasingly evident, that there is always another angle to the story you are hearing. The other person involved sees it a whole different way. We do need to own up to our own failures and mistakes. Once we begin to make positive changes, stick to them. The third part that helps with becoming a more forgiving person is choosing to keep forgiving, even if it takes a while. I’ve noticed that sometimes, forgiveness is a daily choice that can takes persistence and time. In my own case, it took a year of everyday saying, I choose to forgive the person who wronged me. Almost a year to the day, when I thought about that person, there was not more knot in my stomach. I was totally released, and free. So are you becoming a more forgiving person? I know you can be, because of the power of the love of God on the inside of you!
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