Birth Order

How on earth did your kids turn out to be so very different from one another? It may have to do with where they sit in the family tree. Birth order can influence your kid’s personality and behavior more than we know. We have found that a great tool for raising Godly kids is in understanding birth order. Dr. Kevin Leman and other respected psychologists have written extensively on this subject, and there are amazing truths which can help parents better understand children. The amount of children in a family, if there are step siblings involved, or half siblings, or if kids are an only child all can change things up a bit, but the basic principles often hold true. Another variable is how many years there are between children in the birth order. The oldest generally are the take charge leader type. They are not always outspoken about it, but they often are strong willed and determined and definitely conscientious. Middle kids are usually peacemakers and mediators. They tend more often to be people pleasers. Youngest children very often think the world revolves around them, and often become the entertainer, or the life of the party. There is great insight in Dr. Leman’s books, and also great charts available on the internet to see how you can better understand your kids when it comes to birth order. It is well worth your time to do the research. Because we want to be the best parents we can be, use all of the resources you have available to stretch and grow. As parents we don’t get a dress rehearsal, this is the real thing. Let’s do our best

Love Languages

I use the acronym QWARP to remind me of each of the 5 different love languages Gary Chapman introduced in his book The Five Love Languages, and the many spinoffs for couples, for kids, etc. Q stands for Quality Time. Kids who have quality time as their love languages just enjoy being with you, with eye to eye contact. W stands for words of affirmation, and kids with this love language need to hear you say that you love them and approve of them. A stands for acts of service, and kids with this love language, enjoy you doing projects together, and will often be under your feet while you are working. R stands for receiving of gifts. These kids love getting presents, and a prize box for rewards will really be a hit, but they also love giving gifts, and take pride in selecting special gifts. P stands for physical touch. These are the “touchy feely” kids who will be found sitting on your lap, playing with your hair and holding your hand. When you know what your child’s love language is, you will better understand why they do what they do, and even which discipline works best for each child. So to all you parents out there, you can be a better parent as you learn about your child’s love language. It is an exceptional tool that has been so beneficial for us as parents.

Animal Attributes

Understanding personality types is a key to understanding your child– There are many personality type tests, but the one I like the best is the one with the lion, the beaver, the otter, and the golden retriever, developed by Gary Smalley and John Trent. The Lion is often a first born, who is the strong leader type. They get things done, have vision for the future, and can tend to be pushy if they get out of balance. The beaver is the worker bee, who see and need and gets it done. The otter is the life of the party. They are the social ones, who love having lots of people around them. The golden retriever is the loyal faithful friend, who is always there when you need them. Who would think that 4 personality types would pretty much sum up everyone you know? It really is great for looking at your kids personalities, because you can picture the animal, and instead of getting frustrated that your kid loves to have friends over all the time, or won’t ever be serious, you see an otter, playing in the water and enjoying life. With our kids, it also helped me to recognize that my beaver was given most of the jobs, because she never complained and just did them, while the otter couldn’t find time to do chores, and lions would just like to delegate it to someone else. So whatever animal your children represent, they can be their best self if you recognize the animal attributes that their personality represents.

Motivational Gifts

Have you ever really know what motivates you? The motivational gifts are listed in Romans 12, verses 6-9. What is wonderful about this scripture is that it demonstrates God’s finger print on every life on the face of the earth. Here is how it reads in the Message Bible.

6 let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t. If you preach, just preach God’s Message, nothing else; 7 if you help, just help, don’t take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; 8 if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don’t get bossy; if you’re put in charge, don’t manipulate; if you’re called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don’t let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face. 9 Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. This scripture includes great advice for parents. Every person has different motivational gifts. Our motivation can be to lead/give guidance, teach/preach, to help, to guide/administrate, to give, to show mercy, or to encourage. What is so great is that you can see where your child fits, and then you understand them better. It also works with spouses, friends and your own siblings. When we know our motivation gift, we can relate to each other on a higher level. What a great parenting tip, that really works for a lifetime!

Shaping Future Generations

I believe that as parents we are shaping the next generation and raising kids is a privilege and a reward from the Lord. Hi, this is Dorette Schaal with your dailyeword. I had the wonderful opportunity to do a workshop on parenting soon after we adopted our son Carson who was 2 ½ years old. It is really funny how God sets us up sometimes. With a new little boy in our home, I’m not sure there ever had been a time when I have felt less confident as a parent. Everything was all new, and boys are certainly a whole different species after parenting 4 girls! But we took on the challenge of parenting a son, and I was more than happy to talk about Practical Parenting – Mission Possible. I hope the thoughts this week empower you to be a better parent. Here is your dailyeword.

Just like most things, being a good parent involves natural things as well as spiritual things. We’ll talk about the natural side of parenting first.. You would probably guess that I am a reader, and have read more parenting books than you can imagine. These principles are from the best book of all, the Bible, and 3 others great books by really exceptional Christian authors. Here are these 4 natural things that are a great resource when it comes to parenting God’s way. They are areas of understanding that have made parenting much easier.
1) Understanding motivational gifts (from Rom 12: 6-9),
2) Understanding personality type – lion, beaver, otter and golden retriever (from a book by Gary Smalley and John Trent),
3) Understanding Love Languages (from a book by Gary Chapman), and
4) Understanding birth order (from a book by Kevin Leman).
These natural tools have helped my husband and I tremendously in understanding our kids temperaments, characteristics and individual mannerisms. I will break these natural things down day by day this week, and then finish the week talking about spiritual keys that help to produce kids that love God, love His presence, and have a passion for reaching the world. As Christian parents, that’s what we strive for…. producing kids to change the world.

God Has Great Things for You

You’ve probably heard before that God has great things for you. If you have just reached a big milestone in your life, probably lots of people have told you this. I want you to hear it….really hear it, and believe it! I know it can seem sometimes like all the good things happen to everyone else but you, but God has a great plan for YOU! In fact He says that He has a blessed future and a hope for you. I want to encourage you to have childlike expectancy about what God has for you. You might be thinking that everyone else is way better off than you. Everyone goes through disappointments in life. Many people never expected to be where they are doing what they are doing now. Life didn’t turn out how they expected. Way too many Christians have lost hope for any good to come to life. Well, I want you to believe….God has good things for you! Can you start believing it? I know you can. You can wake up tomorrow and believe that God’s favor is shining on you. You can believe that He wants to bless you. He wants to turn things around for you. It is hard to believe that in the midst of turmoil and tough times, but He wants only the best for you. Don’t give up on your dreams, God does have great things for you!

Historical Markers

I don’t know if your family has any plans for long trips across the country, or it you have taken long drives before. If you have, you have probably noticed the Historical Markers along the way. When our family drives cross-country, and we’ve done it a lot, Historical Markers are a time for everyone to stretch their legs, and learn a little history! I don’t know if you have thought about it before, but do you know that every decision you make affects history in some way? I guess that puts a little pressure on you, but positive pressure can be a good thing. Knowing that choosing to tell the truth instead of telling just a little lie, can affect your life for the long term. Everything that we do is like a seed. We begin with just a little lie, lying comes more easily. Then you need to keep track of your lies, so that we don’t get caught. Sooner than you know, it becomes like second nature to embellish the truth, or to outright lie. What a terrible way to live. If you are a parent and keep lying, it is more than likely that your kids will do the same. What kind of history are you making? I know we started talking about historical markers, but it is important that you know generations after you will see the historical markers of your life. Wouldn’t it be great it they could look at the history in your life, and be filled with joy because you chose what was right? My prayer for you is that you can see the big picture, and experience life at its best, by living in truth.

Enthusiastic Celebrations

How is your enthusiasm level? Have you let your face know that you are filled up with the joy of the Lord? We are talking this week about celebrations, large and small, and one thing about celebrations is that you can’t hardly have a party without a smile. I think that it does come naturally for some people to live with enthusiasm. You probably can think of someone right now that is bubbly and lights up the room with their presence. Even if it doesn’t come naturally to you, it is no excuse if you are a Christian! We are supposed to be shining our light. Lights do attract attention. Just turn your porch light on in July on a hot summer night! Here come the bugs! We use lights to bring attention during performances, and the Bible does tell us to let our light shine, so that others can see our good works and glorify God. So I’ll ask the question again….how is your enthusiasm level? Is life a drag or dynamite? Is it boring, or beautiful? Is it average, or above and beyond all you could ever ask or think? I hope the life you are experiencing is wonderful! Once we are Christians, our light gets to shine on those around us, and help to draw them to the Light of the World, Jesus himself. God sent Jesus to give us life abundantly… that is life overflowing… with all that He is in us, and He has for us. Let’s get excited about living and excited about shining our light!

Big Events

This time of year is full of celebrations. Our church just celebrated 25 years of ministering to people in our valley. It has been 25 years of helping people, and training God’s people to reach out and help others. Big events are a blessed result of doing the right thing on a daily basis! You celebrate 25 years of marriage by loving your spouse and being faithful everyday. (This year was 31 years for us!) 25 years of ministry comes from teaching, training, helping, serving, and remaining faithful to the call on your life. Some would say it comes with blood, sweat and tears, but we say it comes with joy! Serving God by serving others with joy is what being a Christian is all about! Sunday should be the best day of the week. Serving in our church should be when we experience fullness of joy. When we realize it isn’t about us, but it is all about Jesus, we become ever more focused on the prize! What is the prize? The prize is a home in heaven when we die, and a taste of heaven on earth right now where we are living. Let’s get as many people to heaven as humanly possible! We don’t want anyone to miss becoming who God wants them to be or to live apart from God’s presence. As you celebrate Big moments in your life, my prayer is that we continue to help people and train people to help others. That’s what ministry is all about. And that makes life full!

Joy is the Serious Business of Heaven

I guess I never have thought of myself as a “party girl” because it has a negative connotation in a worldly sense. But in the Christian sense, I guess I really am a party girl. I love to party. I love to celebrate, and I love lots of people around celebrating with me! When is that last time you had a celebration? Last month, last year? Has it been too long? A party doesn’t have to be focused around the “mega moments” of life, you can have a party for any reason! I want to encourage you to be the first to find a way to party. The Bible says that it is the joy of the Lord that gives us strength. Let’s find joy and share it. It not only strengthens us, but it will strengthen others around us. When you make a choice to be happy and spread the joy, you get a blessing in return. Just like a smile producing more smiles, we should be planting seeds of joy all the time. We should be the happiest, most joy filled people on the planet. C.S. Lewis once said, that joy is the serious business of heaven. Let’s get a little bit of that business of heaven going on here on earth. Come on, let’s party! Let’s celebrate this wonderful life God has given us, with the joy of the Lord.